My Journey

For as long as I can remember, pain was just part of my "normal."

As a little girl, I constantly had stomach aches and headaches. Once puberty hit, things got even harder. I dealt with painful PMS, digestive issues, and migraines that would just level me. I was also really thin back then—so thin that people actually accused me of being anorexic. I even had to prove to my principal and my parents that I was not anorexic.

Because of this, I developed a need to eat as much as I could, which I have now come to understand is why I struggle with portion control today. I've never seen myself as having an eating disorder, and I still don't believe I have one severe enough to be clinically diagnosed. However, I have come to see the profound effect this experience had on my eating habits.

It has been difficult to navigate my emotional need for certain foods. It has also been very eye-opening as I ask myself why I "need" certain foods but have no problem saying no to others. For example, I feel I "need" chocolate, even though it causes me intestinal inflammation and often gives me headaches. I've spent a lot of time navigating this drive, and slowly, I am changing my mindset. I don't crave chocolate as much anymore. Mindful eating has been a huge tool in helping me navigate these habits.

Going back a bit, when I was 15, I started experiencing pain in my knees. A doctor told me that I had juvenile arthritis. At that point, my symptoms really started to take form, and I don't remember a time since then that I didn't have some sort of pain in my body.

Shortly after this diagnosis, I remember being so excited to spend a week at a church youth event with my friend. The day before we were supposed to go, we got to spend the day with my grandpa at his cabin. The excitement completely overwhelmed me; my stomach bloated, it became incredibly painful, and I could barely walk. I ended up throwing up that evening and felt awful, not to mention embarrassed. Thankfully, the rest of the week went well and I had a great time.

Another experience I had as a teenager was when my high school boyfriend dumped me just after graduation. I was so upset that I felt it all in my gut. I couldn't think straight and my body became so inflamed. Again, I threw up a couple of times.

Probably the worst experiences were my monthly PMS. I frequently ended up in the school clinic for a couple of hours just to take medicine and sleep it off. The pain was horrible, and it is still something I deal with regularly.

I married at 22, and a year later we had our first child. During this pregnancy, I had horrible morning sickness for the first trimester. I started to feel better in the second trimester, but then in the third trimester, I started having Braxton Hicks contractions. One night, when I was 8 months pregnant, I had severe abdominal pain. For an hour, my stomach felt like it was on fire. After throwing up, we went to the hospital and was told I was having Braxton Hicks contractions.

I had my beautiful baby girl just a few weeks later by emergency cesarean. Two weeks after that, I had another attack and we went to the hospital. Turns out it was my gallbladder. We opted to have it removed, so I had my second surgery in a two-week span.

My recovery was long, and I developed postpartum depression. I wasn't able to nurse my baby as I had wanted, and I couldn't do much physically because of my surgeries. It took several months to get back to walking and even longer to recover mentally. I also began gaining weight, which was not something I was used to. I gained 40 lbs.

Eighteen months later, we had our second child. At this point, my husband and I bought bikes and began riding the trails by our home. I also started watching what I ate. I was able to lose 20 lbs and maintained that weight for several years.

Fast forward a few years to our 5th child, who is now 2 years old. I am 33. It's Thanksgiving and we are visiting my in-laws. We're getting ready to head out the door for Black Friday shopping when I lean over to pick him up. Suddenly, I can't move, and I roll to the floor. For several hours, I laid there in pain. My husband and his brother tried helping me up, but it hurt so badly that I just stayed down. Eventually, I had to use the bathroom, and they were able to get me up so I could go.

I spent the next three days on the couch. My mother-in-law gave me herbal remedies, and I finally got to a point where I could walk by myself. When we got home, I started exercising to strengthen my back. I began running and ate a mostly vegetarian diet. For the first time in my life, I felt great, I felt strong, and I was back to my original weight.

After doing this for two years, however, I began having symptoms again. My stomach was constantly bloated and I had migraines a few times a week. It got so bad that I’d spend hours curled up in a ball on the floor or the couch, just waiting for the cramps to stop.

Seeking Answers

I knew something was wrong, so I set up an appointment with a gastroenterologist. I met with him for all of five minutes. After hearing my symptoms, he diagnosed me with IBS. He didn't give me any real information—he just sent me on my way.

I decided to go to a dietitian for support with my diet. She helped me start the Low-FODMAP diet. During the elimination and reintroduction phases, I was able to identify the specific foods that were causing my bloating. Once I eliminated those, I began feeling much better.

Then, out of nowhere, my neck locked up. I couldn't turn my head and using my arms was difficult. I went to see a chiropractor who took an X-ray, which showed that my spine was actually curving the wrong way. He asked me to stop exercising and put me on a regimen of massage therapy and chiropractic work several times a week. I worked with him for a couple of years but didn't feel like we were getting anywhere.

So, I decided to go to a physical therapist. He gave me some exercises to strengthen my muscles and used dry needling to calm my back. I deal with chronic, tight, hard muscles, and he worked to relieve that tension to help with my pain. Unfortunately, after six months, he said there was nothing more he could do and sent me on my way. Nothing was resolved.

Still suffering from chronic pain, I decided a massage would be wonderful, so I went to see my massage therapist. During the session, she noticed how much inflammation was in my body and urged me to go to my doctor to get specific blood work done.

I chose to go to a different gastroenterologist since I was still suffering from abdominal pain. He ran some labs, and those results finally revealed that I had an autoimmune condition.

The Answer

I was 39 when I was diagnosed with Celiac disease. That night, I had a really good, long cry. The next morning, I got up and began my new gluten-free lifestyle.

I dove into learning everything I could about a gluten-free diet. Honestly, I’m so grateful we live in a time where gluten-free food can actually taste amazing! I have found so many wonderful recipes and was surprised to find that my taste buds acclimated so quickly. I always feel like what I'm eating tastes "normal," but my family keeps reminding me that it tastes nothing like the real thing. I count that as a blessing because it means I can still enjoy my food!

Unfortunately, this diagnosis has not been a cure-all for me. I am still suffering from chronic pain, bloating, migraines, PMS, and so many other symptoms that I can't even list them all here. I recently went in for more lab work, and it came back positive for a connective tissue disorder. I am currently waiting for an appointment with a rheumatologist.

Where I Am Today

I want to be real with you: with autoimmune issues and chronic pain, things don't just "poof" and disappear forever. Flare-ups happen because life happens. I am still searching for answers to all of my symptoms.

But I can say that I have way more good days than bad now because I have learned how to navigate my lifestyle. I know what foods increase my symptoms and I know which ones calm them. I know what kind of movement feels good to my body and which ones will increase my pain and inflammation. I've also found supplements that support my body and help me manage my symptoms. 

I know exactly what it’s like to live in a body that feels like a total mystery. I know the fear of eating something and just waiting for the pain to hit. I know what it's like to go from practitioner to practitioner, waiting years for a real answer. Most importantly, I know how vital it is to advocate for yourself and stay educated on your health.

That’s exactly why I became a nutrition coach and created The Dayley Calm Framework. I’m here to help you navigate your own journey. You don’t have to do this alone.

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